I wholeheartedly agree with your post, and feel like I could have written it myself! One good thing about being in the minority in these meetups, etc is having the bathroom all to yourself.
I am a woman who came to tech in her 40's by marrying a brilliant CTO. I had owned and operated a small business with a few employees for 20 years, but tech startups were a wild west frontier to me. I became fascinated with the culture, and soon had my own startup, Boosterville. I realize how lucky I am to have a technical co-founder in my husband, but it still took me a long time to come to terms with my non-tech side, and understand that not everyone in the startup has to know how to code. In fact, the startups where everyone's a coder seldom succeed. Instead, I bring the balance of being the domain expert, the one who knows how to talk to the lawyer and CPA, get appointments, get press -- everything BUT code. There's a lot of value we can bring to the rest of the business.