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  • Timothy Baer

    I too was adopted. And I too met my biological father when I was 11. Meeting at such a young age and under the circumstances we did was a mistake. Quite simply, by meeting my father when I was still a child put us in the awkward relationship of being father/son when we lacked the bonds for that relationship to form properly. If I had met him much later, say at 25 or 30, we could have met as equals and without child/parent expectations laid on both of us. There was a reason why he let a child go and a reason why a better man adopted me. We had a relationship for about seven years but now haven't spoken in more than a decade. He's not a bad guy, it was just weird. After living it I don't recommend that adopted children meet their biological parents. As for Kapernick? He seems to be doing quite well without his birth mother. I'm sure they'll meet eventually. Or maybe they won't. It's unfair to suppose that Colin should form an emotional bond with a woman he's never met, as if it's up to him to repair a situation he never had control over.

    • Fran Harrington

      "a better man?" How dehumanizing. Adoptive parents are not "better"than natural parents. Another myth perpetuated by the adoption industry everyone loves throwing around. Thanks.

      • Susan Marsten

        Sometimes there is no question who is a 'better man.' And it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with adoption.

        A stable generous open-hearted person who can set an example of what it means to be a loving husband and father is without doubt a better man than an addict who has abused his girlfriends in drunken rages and spent half his life in jail. There is no question in my mind who is a better man when it comes to raising a child.

        We don't know why Timothy Baer thought his adoptive father was a better man than his birth father but I am sure that his judgment has nothing to do with adoption per se and everything to do with the specific individuals.

  • Barb Brumfield

    I am adopted and I too have not sought out my birth parents. I grew up in a wonderful family, treated as their own child and my only concern was if there were any health issues that may be genetic, but so far that has not outweighed the contentment I have with the family I have and if my birth mother came looking for me, I may meet her out of politeness, but she would never take the place of the woman I know as mom.

    • Fran Harrington

      Yes we know, natural mothers are nothing but incubator, broodmares for the infertile. (NOT REALLY). Thank you for perpetuating that lie.

      • Nak

        How can you discount what an ADOPTED person feels? If they feel that their adoptive parents were more equipped to do the job of raising them, then who are you to disagree?

        Yes, I get that giving up your child is very mature and selfless. I get that there is a stigma against women who give up their children, as if that somehow makes them a bad person. But you shouldn't antagonize an adopted child for how THEY feel.

  • harryo

    Colin Kaepernick needs to understand that his birthmother is the reason why he is alive
    today. His birthmother at the time was a teenager white and had been impregnated by
    a black man. She most likely was broke and had no support from her family because of your black daddy. Be thankful that she did not have an abortion like some other women would have done. She put you in an enviroment where you were taken care of.
    So stop being selfish and look at her situation at that time, and meet the lady that brought you into this world. The Kaepernicks are and will always be your family.

    • Delightful

      Actually God is the reason he's alive, birth mother merely a vessel. You seem disturbed by the reality that his"black daddy" is one reason why she gave him up for adoption. I ponder where that deep rooted statement lies in your thought process. Relax....

    • Nak

      Go straight to hell. Clearly, you don't know anything at all about what it's like to be adopted. It's not selfish to seek normalcy in your life. I remember wishing I just had one set of parents, instead of a second set who were riddled with guilt that they couldn't raise me, which they transferred to me. And thusly, I felt bad all the time when I was around them. Feeling sad because they were sad. It's o.k. to want to be like everyone else ,who have just two parents.

    • Fran Harrington

      Thank you for being non judgmental and compassionate. How refreshing.

  • terryKP

    I understand some of what Rebecca says here. However, must say I disagree. Part of it might be because I find her post somewhat contradictory. She is saying only Colin Kaepernick knows the situation, so leave him alone. Got it. But she goes out of her way to also criticize Heidi Russo, as if she thinks she knows Heidi's situation too. You cannot have it both ways. Not fair to say you don't buy Heidi's reaching out at this time. Frankly, she has reached out long before this. Going to the media is not a dumb thing. I think the key is this: IF Heidi reaches out, and Colin accepts, and THEN Heidi starts trying to make money off of it, that is abhorrent, and then we have the right to criticize. But I don't have any problem with what she is doing.
    Also, I am a bit tired of the same ol trite argument, "she's not my mother, she didn't raise me, etc etc." Yes yes yes yes, a thousand times yes, we get that. That is not what anyone is saying, certainly not me. But she is his biological mother. There is nothing, no matter how vigorous one argues, that can change that. It is a reasonable thing for Rick Reilly to say he should see her, and frankly, it's a reasonable thing for Rebecca Carroll to say he shouldn't. What I don't find fair is the criticism of Heidi Russo for doing the right thing after her mistake to get pregnant years ago, and giving Colin a great opportunity with loving parents, and then reaching out (which she has done for years, and not only when he made the NFL). The interview via the media is just fine with me, she is not asking to take him away, she is not asking for money. She just wants to see her biological son. She credits his parents, too. Until she asks for fame or fortune, I have no problem with what she is doing, and I certainly have no right to say "I don't buy it" when it comes to her reasoning. Anyway, Rebecca Carroll means well here, but the title of her article was misleading - it seems her article was intended not just to explain her position on Colin's decision, but also to berate Heidi Russo, and that part is what makes the article far less objective than it could have been.

    • Rebecca Carroll

      In what way is Heidi Russo "doing the right thing"? How is the right thing to come back into her son's life in such a public way on the eve of the most important day of his career -- a day when the entire world is watching and waiting to see how he will perform? "She just wants to see her son." I don't doubt that, but here's the thing with legally surrendering your child -- you also surrender your right to see that child until he/she is a grown adult and can make that very personal call. The right thing for Heidi Russo to do, as the birthmother/mother of this now grown child, is to respect his decision to not reconnect with her at this time.

      • Fran Harrington

        In what way is this any of your damn business? Have you ever lost a child to adoption? Unless you have and know what is like to be without your own flesh and blood, why don't you keep your mouth shut. The dehumanizing, degrading comments I have read about this woman are despicable. Why don't you stop being so judgmental about something that is in no way your business and get a life, thanks.

        • MarieJ

          Why are you so angry? why are you so judmental? Feeling guilty? Rebecca Carrol does have a veiw from the inside having been a child who was given up and adopted. And fortuate to be adopted by good people. Not all adoptive parents are good people just as not all birth parents are good people. Now, I do agree very much that the particular time Heidi Russo picked to try to come back into C. K. life is odd and can appear opportunistic. I liked the article. I like Colin K. and his team.