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  • Nicole Holgate

    This is something I've been thinking about recently, after my relationship abruptly ended. I guess when you can't tolerate someone's differences any more, that's not love. Especially when they won't come to the cinema with you.

    • Alisha Gaddis

      So sorry for your relationship ending. But I agree- you must have someone participate in the cinema (of life) with you! All the VERY best!!

  • Jackie Ramirez

    Alisha, thank you so much for this beautiful post. You have articulated what my fiance and I feel for each other in a way that I could not. This is truly the key to a successful relationship, it really is about giving and taking and finding that balance. Thank you so much and I look forward to your book.

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Thank YOU so much Jackie! Wow. That is wonderful that you were able to relate. Really appreciate and good lucky with your marriage! YAY!! Happiness and love abundant!

  • Alisha Gaddis

    Thanks all for the feedback and kindness! I am always interested in knowing others trials and triumphs! YAY!!

  • Beth B

    Hopefully my opinion counts even though I'm not married - my boyfriend and I are working toward a marriage, starting with a healthy relationship. That involves a lot of work on give and take, because people are naturally a little bit selfish, right? We both tend to grumble when we "have" to do something the other wants to do but it's a bit inconvenient and not what we had in mind (I'm mostly at fault for that), and we've recently established a new rule. I realized it doesn't really matter if he goes along with what I want to do if I can tell he's unhappy about it (and I grumble out loud, so again I'm more at fault), so we are only allowed to do these things for each other if we can be enthusiastic about it. Fakin it.
    Also...just for anyone interested - I just started working for this Pittsburgh startup called Romeo Delivers. ( It's a monthly subscription service for men, just to give them the little bit of help they sometimes need to show their wives/girlfriends how much they care. Alisha, we are actually trying to find people to write about us, if you would be interested?

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Of COURSE your opinion is valid! This is about all relationships, not just marriage. You totally get it and are right.

      Your new site looks fantastic! I love the style and feel- what a cool idea too. Really inspiring. I would love to be involved! You can message at: Thanks for your insight and kind words!

  • Jeanne Kays

    Mutual respect, a sense of humor, and a sense of adventure are definitely the glue that binds a "forever" relationship together. Even after 22+ years of marriage, two teenagers, and maybe one too many pets (I kinda slipped one in recently...) we keep going strong...and still find newness and delight together. I will pass your article on to my eldest daughter--it helps to see other positive examples of the gives and takes in relationships. Thank you for posting such a positive, well-expressed article.

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Wow! Thanks Jeanne! 22 years! What an inspiration! Thank you for your wisdom '' find newness and delight together'- I love that! And much love to your daughter! Thanks again!

  • Kristine Kopp

    What a perfect description of the give and take in a successful relationship...faking it!!! I have to say I have been faking it with my husband since we met in 1971. We have been through a whole lifetime together, raised three kids, and still enjoy each other, and often don't get what the other one loves. I will watch history channel and Mecum muscle car auctions and actually start to enjoy once in a while, and he watches endless animal shows with me, and has endured a menagerie of small animals throughout the years (a hedgehog? why not?) And we do have things in common as well (gardening, reading, walking our great dog Shannon) I will send this lovely article to my daughter who is two years into a wonderful relationship, just to encourage her.
    Thanks for bring a bright spot to my day.

    • Alisha Gaddis

      This made me laugh and smile Kristine! I watch the same shows for my husband! I love all of this! Thank you so much for sharing! Made my day brighter too! And good luck to your daughter!

  • katnap888

    Women have been doing this for their menfolk for the longest time. I just hope your partner does the same for you, 50/50 is the only way.

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Agreed! And he absolutely does. 50/50 all the way!

  • Dave Manoulian

    Empathy goes a long way in all aspects of life

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Absolutely Dave! Thanks for reading!

  • Laurel

    This is very relevant to my current personal struggles. Thank you for the encouraging words!

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Thanks so much for reading and all the very best!

  • micheleamatthews

    I loved this post! I am recently engaged to a man who I love dearly. We are so very different in so many ways; I'm an entrepreneur with five small businesses (my twin sister is my business partner) and he's a 9-5'er actuarial analyst (doomed to take professional exams for the next decade or so of our lives). He loves football (not NFL, what we call soccer in the States) and he's a singer. I studied journalism and do a lot of writing in my work and free time and can't sing a note. I like going to art shows (my twin is a professional artist) and discussions about making the world a better place. He likes going to sporting events (cricket and football; we live in his birthplace and that of my parents'--Trinidad & Tobago). I'm 4'll and 90 lbs...he's 6'2 and about 215 lbs...I'm a risk taker and he errs on the side of risk averse...we are opposites, but have learned so much from each other in the 3.5 years we've been together and can't wait to spend our lives together. We humor each other most of the time AND try to find things we both love to do together; I'm a better person when I'm with him and that alone makes our love very strong. This piece just reinforced that we're on the right path. Thanks for writing it. Peace and Blessings to you and your hubby!

    • Alisha Gaddis

      WOW! What a beautiful relationship you all share! And such differences! Great ones! I loved reading this. Thank you so much for sharing! Much love and happiness to you always!

  • Terri Hammer

    You are delightful! Although we've never met, I was recently reminded of you, earlier this week I think it was, as I saw a woman who looked like you at the Silver Lake Library with a pretty, long dark haired girl. Could that have been you?

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Ha! Thank you so much! That was not me- but I appreciate it! Glad to see my doppleganger was doing some reading! Cheers to you!

  • Terri Hammer

    Totally get what you're talking about! About 10 years I was living in Palm Springs and my neighbor was from Nicaragua. She was always telling me beautiful stories about her parents and their relationship. She would also talk a lot about one particular brother and his work in rural development. Two years later I met and married her brother. He was everything she said he was. That was 8 years ago, as of January 13th. Demonstrated respect is certainly the key and the glue that binds us together through all the good and hard times along the way. Nice to be so pleasantly reminded of something that can be so easily forgotten.
    Show a little RESPECT to those you love and love you back!
    Congratulations on the Grammy! Those who sing together, stay together. (except for Sonny & Cher)

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Wow Terri! What a truly beautiful, powerful and romantic story! I am truly inspired! And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! So gorgeous- all of that! Thank you for the kind words- they are VERY appreciated! Much love and light!

  • Kristine Bates

    Good job Alisha! Give and take, ebb and flow, yen and yang. Yall got it!!

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Awe! Thanks Kristine! Really grateful for the kind words!

  • Code Start

    This is awesome. Thanks for sharing!

    • Alisha Gaddis

      Thank you so much for reading! Really appreciate it!