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  • Vickee Y

    I think the whole thing is being blown out of proportion. I'm a 24-year-old woman who rides the subway at rush hour every day and at least once a week, some guy ends up crushed behind me. Sometimes his you-know-what gets wedged between my butt cheeks, and yeah, sometimes he'll pop a boner. So what? In a crowded situation, people wind up squeezed together, and what happens naturally to guys is going to happen. Why make such a freaking big deal about it? My co-workers and I even joke about it sometimes, trading stories about who had a "joy ride" that morning and what was the size of the guy's package. And if they had those stupid women's only cars, can you guarantee no lesbian's going to "accidentally" have her hand in my crotch?

  • Juan Perez

    You have got to be kidding me. While it is prevalent on the subway system here, the enacting of this law would be uneven to say the least.

    That's before you get to the women who actually initiate and continue this "bumping inconsistent with the motion of the train" business. I've had chicks grind on ME with my hands on the rails above, being sure to not grope or the appearance of doing so. No one says anything about THAT though, do they?

  • Vast Shadow

    I do not think that could evenly be disputed. Not unless someone really `grabs a boob or butt than its not very questionable. Brazing against someone in a crowded subway isn't very uncommon. Some people can stand still in a moving subways; some people have inner ear problems that gives them vertigo; Some people get motion sickness and that makes them dizzy.
    There is also those people who will walk by and instead of saying "excuse" me they will lightly a braze you as they walk by to signify they are there. I hate people like that too and on a bad day I would probably tell someone to watch the f- out. He could have accidentally brazed the wrong guy before and aims to just cut through people by going to the opposite sex, JUST so he wont get some guy aggravated with him.

    When its a firm grab thats when its sexual-assault. But brazing against someone all they feeling is fabric but I'm sure a female is more noticeable of THAT-PART that had someone up against it.

    If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, you should announce it. If its continues or gets more aggressive then you could imply some violation.

    You could also carry Mace or a tazer around... An instead of saying you are offended just scream sexual assault and douse them. Then who would be the one automatically in trouble?... The guy, females have that whole automatic ability to take leverage by accusing.

    • BFlips

      Its certainly true that grazing is hard to pin down as intentional. That's why it happens - the perpetrator can always plausibly deny it. If someone makes a woman feel uncomfortable and she announces it, as you recommend, the grazer can deny it, call her crazy, and get away without feeling he's lost any face. That's the problem that I think the article addresses: despite being legitimate harassment, its difficult to call it out. I don't have the answer for it, but I don't think legislation or the violence that's been proposed by you and other posters are really the right way to go.

  • Rubykia

    Interesting piece Rosie, when I first started using the NY subway 23 years ago the grope of choice was for the man to carry a large envelope which he would hold between him and you, when you looked down as you realised someone was groping you they would turn their hand back as if they were holding the package. The first couple of times I thought it was my mistake, once I realised it wasn't I purchased a large hat pin which I kept pinned to the collar of my coat and used liberally, needless to say no one answered back. I also had my breasts grabbed once when the lights in the carriage went off very briefly. Long Long overdue for something to be done about this - 23 years on and the same old problems!

  • Rosie Spinks

    Hi Fyrehed. Rosie, the writer, here. Thanks for your thoughts. I agree with you, women should get involved in more actively defending themselves against street harassers. That is what is advocated by the groups I mention in the piece—Hollaback & Stop Street Harassment. But keep in mind that sometimes, when you're a female walking home late and three guys are talking to you inappropriately, it would be practically unwise (and unsafe) to physically defend yourself, or even talk back. Large scale behavior changes aren't easy, but I think that's why it women so often don't do what you suggest below.

  • Fera Schoen

    No, what we need is for women to quit sulking in uncomfortable silence and actually defend themselves because (guess what!) gender equality isn't real if you just stand around waiting for a male bystander to witness your discomfort and then try to defend you. Punch them in the balls if they're grinding on you. The next punch (because so many of you are stupid you won't hit hard enough) should be to the face (and yeah, actually put some muscle into) so that everyone will have to wonder for a couple weeks why is it that guy has a black eye... maybe he's a grinder.

    Women have fists, elbows, knees, skulls and many of them carry ridiculous purses as: all you have to do is freaking use them and stop standing around like some scared mouse waiting to be stepped on or caught and kept as a pet.

    Honestly, most the women in this country sicken me, but that's only fair since most the men sicken me, too. I may have run out of sympathy for all of you at this point.