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Answer This: How Do You Define Marriage?

Zachary Slobig

In light of the SCOTUS decision to knock down the Defense of Marriage Act and re-paving the way for same-sex marriage in California, I'm interested to hear from the GOOD community how they define this institution. Certainly there are other ways that marriage can and should be re-defined. You might wonder whether health care benefits should be tied to marital status in the first place or wonder about alternatives to marriage that we ought to be working towards. How do you define marriage?

Photo courtesy of Julie Caine



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  • Lelouchto L

    What we have to understand first is that marriage is God's institution.
    Society then decided to embrace it. Then all economic and socials goals got tied to it. Now I understand that society wants the same "rights" (economics, healthcare benefits, etc.) for same sex couples.
    The way marriage was design by our governments etc. is clearly based on the Bible and the way it described it to be. Even one of the most used quotes about it says: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh"
    The issue then with same sex marriage lies in the fact that "society" and "law" through government instated marriage based on the Bible.
    The first marriage was celebrated by God Himself and He clearly stated over years the rules of such institution. You have then to believe in God first to be willing to honor His institution. If you don't believe in God you can not believe in His law and institution.
    The only way union between same sex can be validate is if as a whole, society decide to reject the Bible and base marriage on something else.
    Until then we can call it whatever we want but an union between 2 persons of same sex is not a marriage.
    Basically it's like doing something unconstitutional and changing the constitution to make that thing constitutional. So unless USA doesn't trust in God anymore sex same marriage is unconstitutional just like others stuff that are permitted because constitution was bent.
    That does not mean that "gays" people should not have rights or should not be loved because God loves them first. And I do not thing you can therefore dissociate marriage and even more same sex marriage from God.

  • Shailendra Verma

    I definitely see marriage as an institution as a lifestyle framework which is either declared by the religious leaders ( if it's religious ), or as a civil contract if it's a registered framework merely done to receive the benefits as declared in the constitution, or could be as a personal union under the eyes of society, where the society is the watcher and has the ability to hinder your life with their certain expectations or common local practices that you should follow even though you might not want to.

    I guess, a honest but private/reserved relationship (shared between 2) is more of what i'm into.

    Replying from my perspective, of course.

  • chcleaver

    marriage is a personal commitment to another human being. whether those terms are legal, religious, spiritual, etc, the important thing is that the connection is between two people, whose ability to be together is entirely derived entirely from their own free will.

    i wish that the government saw marriage the way we're all describing it

  • KC Harry

    To me, ideally, marriage is an expression of true connection on spiritual, physical, emotional and value-based levels. With a little compromise thrown in for good measure.

  • Melissa Gordy

    Marriage is PERSONAL - it may be a business partnership, a personal commitment, a deep friendship, true love, or a combination of any of the above. It truly is what you make of it. Some marriages ARE a scam, some ARE just meant to be.

    • Zachary Slobig

      very well, put, melissa. there's certainly a spectrum of arrangements and agreements. i wonder how the millennial generation will re-shape the institution in the next 10-20 years. obviously people are delaying marriage in larger numbers these days, but i wonder if that delay will begin to actually become opting out of the institution altogether? is the basic relevance of marriage up for question more these days?

  • Sofia Valiente

    Marriage is a personal union, based not only on passionate love, that wears out after a while, but on real love, and respect that lasts through anything. Benefits like healthcare are not an outdated practice I feel, since somethings are good and shouldn't be changed.

    • Sonu Kanojia

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  • Rodrigo Mejia

    Marriage is a personal commitment and I agree with Alessandra that tying benefits to marriage is an outdated practice. People should be free to love and rule their lives by their own accord. If that means that they are unable to commit themselves to another within marriage, that's perfectly fine. Benefits or penalties should not be involved in a personal choice on how to get through such a short, yet amazing life.

  • Alessandra Rizzotti

    I definitely don't think healthcare benefits should be tied to marriage. I understand it, but it's an old way of thinking. Man works so that his wife can have benefits. Or vice versa, nowadays. Marriage should be about romance, but everyone jokes it never is.